All I have heard is about how the Detroit Tigers are going to go 162-0 this year. Because of their big trade with the Marlins. I don’t really see it, so let’s talk about the Tigers trade.

This notion that Dontrelle Willis, who had a 5.5 ERA in the National League, you know, pitching to pitchers, is going to be so great, I don’t get it. I mean I can’t wait till he faces the Yankee lineup. His ERA might be like 8.

The keystone of this trade was obviously Miguel Cabrera, who everyone wants to say is the next A-Rod. But he is 24 years old and looks like he ate A-Rod. So you have that coupled with Edgar Renteria, who is getting kind of doughy. I think AL teams should spend like $100,000 per game when the Tigers come to town on the visiting clubhouse post game spread. And they should start setting it up before the game. With like steak and lobster, and copious of beer and deserts.

Cabrera will just be salivating and saying to Edgar “Oh my god Edgar. Did you see that cake?”

And they will be completely lost all game. They could have a guy in the clubhouse with a fan, basically blowing the aromas onto the Detroit bench all game. They wouldn’t know what to do. The two of them will weigh 275 by the all start break.

I mean I guess it’s good to get Cabrera out of South beach, because I don’t think the night life in Detroit is equal to that in South Beach. So if he’s been livin’ it up and is putting it on that way, you know, with 3am Waffle House runs after a night at the club, it’s probably not going to be like that in Detroit, which is why you need the post game spread.

I basically want to hear stories of Gary Sheffield trying to physically restrain Cabrera from the buffet with a baseball bat. “Hey Miguel! Enough. No more cake!”

So I don’t know, that might work, and if it doesn’t, I don’t really care. I just think that would TCB, you know, Take Care of Business.