For the second time in my life, I was asked to describe love at the Bryan Helmig and Amy Ward wedding this weekend. Who better to really put a finger on what love is other than me, right?

Anyone who knows Bryan will understand that I wasn’t all that surprised when I tell you he sent me a text message at about 2pm yesterday asking me to ‘give a speech sort of thingy’ . . .

I first wanted to thank Amy and Bryan for having me here this evening. It’s really a pleasure to be able to tell you a little bit about them.

For those of you who don’t know me. I’m also Bryan. I’ve known Bryan since he was a bright eyed and bushy tailed college student. He was an aspiring MBA student, looking to climb that corporate ladder. My how times have changed. Back then, we used to terrorize the rough streets of Columbia, drinking whiskey and writing country song lyrics.

Actually, I think Bryan still does that.

So what can I say about Bryan Helmig? B-Rye – B-Roni.
Zapier Co-Founder
Between the Lics Guitarist
Brogrammer and Redditor
Wild Turkey enthusiast.

I can say I’m proud of Amy for taking on the task that is dealing with Bryan. Because I know that putting up with Bryan means, putting up with Bryan’s . . . . shall we say . . . . ways.

I mean . . . It’s everything.
-When I asked him when he was getting married, he said, “Um, when engagement rings don’t cost more than a car.”
-When I asked him how wedding planning was going, he said, “Amy handles all that. I think it’s sometime in October.”
-Or the time when he demanded Amy pick him up at the intersection of two streets that don’t intersect, and I’m pretty sure might not even exist.
-Oh . . . . wait, that was actually me. Sorry about that.

There were the times he’d play Mizzou golf across the entire campus, and his famous ‘Wild Turkey’ nites the evening before Thanksgiving.

His friends? We know what it’s like with Bryan as well.

Many of them couldn’t be here today, but we don’t have to look further than our trip to Costa Rica. After 24 hours in snowstorms, traveling a few thousand miles, everyone was ready to just be done. But that nite, there came Bryan, walking down the gravel road, wearing only a swim suit, carrying a case Costa Rica’s finest beers, leading the charge to brighten everyone’s spirits, and to get the party started.

The point is – Amy, I know that you have your hands full. And I know that you know this too . . .

When I went out to the Valley to visit Bryan, after entering Zapier “headquarters,” I could only look around with terror, fearing what would happen if you saw the living arrangements. To describe it to the rest of you, imagine what you think a two bedroom apartment with three dues living in it looks like … and it looked exactly like that.
Nothing higher than a foot off the ground, dishes everywhere, I believe Bryan actually offered me “a pile of clothes to sleep on if I wanted.”

For the record, I’m pretty sure the rest of us call that “laundry.”

Bryan has moved from 3pics dot me to Rankiak to Zapier, and we couldn’t be more proud. But you see Amy, as much as he’d like to pretend he could, he couldn’t do it without you. This fabulous wedding would have never gotten off the ground without you. Without you, we’d all be eating from dirty dishes, and sitting on piles of laundry.

So Amy, you’ve always been there for Bryan. You were there to drive us around in our tailgate trailer, and you were there that nite to rescue us from the menacing Russians, and I know you’ll be there for him the next time he needs you.

Because you see Amy, I do know Bryan does love you. You know how I know?
I know this because he actually watches ‘The Biggest Loser’ with you.
I know this because he adopted a dog named Tuna.
I know this because deep down, he’s really excited about this ‘wedding thingy’

Recently, Bryan and Amy had to exit Columbia stage left, off to Silicon Valley. Bryan once told me they were going all the way to an IPO and a private jet. Even if you don’t make it that far, just know I’ll drunkenly tell anyone who’ll listen that two people from mid Missouri taught me everything I know about start-ups, finance, brogramming, library sciences, but most importantly what a relationship should be like, and it will be the truth.

So. Ladies, gentlemen, and B Rye’s Hair

To Amy and Bryan. May your life together be filled with safe travels, good health, happiness, and much love.

I’ve spent the better part of a decade discussing with people why I chose to live where I do. They always try and steer the conversation to all the offerings other cities claim make their city the best place to live. Things they claim will enhance your life. They talk about museums, new restaurants, outside actives and anything you could put together in a brochure to make Anywhere, USA sound like the lost city of Atlantis.

But when it comes down to it, the museums are gone to once and never again, the places to eat offer the same food as anywhere else. The beer is just as cold anywhere else as it is here. Festivals are never as good as expected, and outdoor actives are forgotten about and never done.

Don’t get me wrong, I love to visit other cities, and I love to take in what they have to offer while I’m there. I’ve visited more places than most people I know can imagine. I have a great time taking in new sights, sounds, and everything that comes with visiting somewhere new.

But if there is one thing I’ve found, it’s not the things other cities offer that will make you happy, but rather the people you can share them with. Columbia has offered me more than I could list. To working for three Inc 500 winners, to game day Saturdays, to basketball games, to golf tournaments, to Thursday nites, to trips taken out of town, to ‘Suns Up Guns Up.’ It’s the people I’m with that make all those events fun and possible, not actually the events themselves.

I always say that you can’t choose where you were born, but you can choose where you live. I love this town. I always have, and I always will.

I’m not crazy. I know Columbia isn’t London, Paris, New York or even San Diego. But it’s a great place to live, have fun, and work. And working with the people in this town is an honor, and a privilege.

You see, every town in the world claims it’s the best place to live. And that can’t always be true. But somewhere, some town, really is the best to live in the world. Somewhere, that place exists.

So why can’t it be here?

This weekend I had the pleasure of being Big Joe’s best man in the much anticipated Gove – Stanislawski wedding. As is customary, I delivered the Best Man speech. It is below.

Good morning Everybody. Can I get a Hey O?

Now, before I came up here, Clint pulled me aside and said “Be sure to thank everyone for coming.” So let’s go ahead and get that out of the way . . .

I first wanted to thank Anna and Joe for having me here this evening. It’s really a please to be able to tell you a little bit about them.

For those of you who don’t know me. I’m Bryan. I’ve known Joe since 6th grade. Back then, we used to terrorize the rough streets of the Plymouth Wayzata area, riding our bikes to Pizza Hut Lunch Buffet.

Actually, I think Joe still does that.

So what can I say about Joe Stanislawski? Big Joe. Joey Bear.

Starting center for Wayzata West’s Pearl Jamma Jamma’s.
Avid minivan driver
Broken tailbone more times than I can count.
Bratwurst enthusiast.

I can say I’m proud of Anna for taking on the task that is dealing with Joe. Because I know that putting up with Joe means, putting up with Joe’s . . . . shall we say . . . . shenanigans.

I mean . . .
There was the time he inexplicably knocked over a full two liter bottle of RC Cola on my parent’s new carpet.
Or the time at the Par 3 golf course, when he insisted on teeing off just a little too close to a parked car . . . and hit it.
Or the time we had to get all the other golfers on the driving range to stop hitting, so we could retrieve his Mom’s new golf club that he had thrown onto the range in his follow thru, so we could retrieve it.

Actually, I may have forgotten to mention . . . All three of those things happened on the exact same day.

There was the time he T-Boned a car riding his bike.
There was the time he ran face first into a closed sliding door window.
Or the time we got chased on our bikes across town because he’d mouthed off to some hooligans, not that they didn’t deserve it.

Our friends? We know what it’s like with Joe as well.
We don’t have to look any further than our trip to Pensacola. My Dad had given us his new frisbee for the trip. We went out, Clint threw it to Ryan, Ryan threw it to Jay, Jay threw it to me, I threw it to Joe . . . and Joe threw it into the Gulf of Mexico.

Joe’s Mom and Dad? They know this better than anyone.

You’ll remember the time he put a hole in your basement wall playing ping pong.
Or the time he lowered the blade on your riding lawn mower and you took a chunk out of your lawn.
Oh . . . . wait, that was actually me. Sorry about that.

The point is – Anna, you have your hands full. And I know that you know this too . . .

Two weeks ago we had Joe’s bachelor party. As we traversed the disc golf course referred to as ‘The Crown Jewel of Des Moines’ I heard the story of when he first told you he loved you.

Joe was visiting friends in Chippewa Falls. As they were walking home, Joe, in typical Joe fashion, in his size fifteens, inexplicably took off running. So the rescue party went out to find Joe. When they found him? There he was, standing in the middle of an intersection; clutching his phone “I don’t know where I am!”

But on the other end was Anna reassuring him that all was well, and this is when Joe told Anna he loved her.

So Anna, I do know Joe does love you. You know how I know?

I know it from the countless trips ne made between Lincoln, Minneapolis, Rochester, Mankato and beyond.
I know this because he updated his status on MySpace.
I know this because he moved in with two cats.
I know this from the way he smiles when he talks about you, and I know this from the way he so intricately planned how he ask you to marry him.

I’ve never known Joe to be much of a romantic, but, growing up in a house with four women apparently developed the softer side of Joe as well.

Before, Joe’s idea of a romantic proposal would likely have involved Eddie Veder and a stick of beef jerky.

But you’ve been able to reach in and pull out a side of Joe that we all hoped was there. I think we can all agree, that the ring hidden in a Geo cache was pretty good . . . especially for Joe.

So. Ladies, gentlemen, and Schaber’s Beard -

To Anna and Joe. May your life together be filled with safe travels, good health, happiness, and much love.

I have been told I am a young professional. This is why I needed to get a loft downtown.

But I don’t really feel like one. I don’t have a bogus job title at a bank and I don’t carry a day planner with me. I don’t drink Starbucks all morning or use phrases like ‘At the end of the day.’ I’ve never been to an office Happy Hour, or tell people that ‘I’ve just been buried in paperwork for the last 48 hours.’ I don’t use hard copies of anything, or fax machines, or carry a briefcase. I don’t even wear a tie. Or a collared shirt, or pants.

I much prefer my Twins t-shirt for my day at the office. I come in each day wearing a backpack. I Ice people at work. I spend my time surfing the net, meeting like minded people and letting my hair down at Big 12.

Either way, I was excited to see that the Great State of Minnesota was well represented today. Minneapolis made the top 3 cities for young professionals.

If I ever become one, I’ll have to move there.

Check out a site for one of our friends over at Newsy.com. Claire Hanan is an aspiring journalist and recent University of Missouri graduate. Congratulations Claire!

I was fortunate enough to be asked back to the University of Missouri to teach a class on search marketing. Although I can’t recreate the humor, passion and excitement I brought to the class, the slides are below.

I believe they called it Honorary Degree or perhaps Professor Emeritus . . maybe it was Guest Speaker.

Some cool sites to check out on a nice spring Thursday in Columbia, MO.

I got back into what Life in the Blue was meant to be all about – Achieving Google’s covered Blue PPC ranking – before the top spots where changed to gold. I helped out one of my friends at our new start-up, GrowthPartner.com. Follow along for some pointers while we achieve pay per click success with one of his campaigns.

I have also recently been enlisted as the webmaster for the all-time NCAA Most Accurate Kicker, Jeff Wolfert. Jeff was a walk on at the University of Missouri, and was their place kicker for the next three seasons. He ended his career at Mizzou as the all time leading scorer, and went a perfect 185 for 185 on extra points. He was a key part of the Tigers run to a BCS number 1 ranking in 2008.

I was live in person for one of his career highlights, kicking the game winning field goal against Kansas at Arrowhead stadium, where he was carried off the field.